I don't think I can do it anymore. I can't be the third wheel.
You know, Brittany and Daryl are not dating. Officially. But in my mind, they really are.
And you know what, I wouldn't hang out with Joe and Winona this much as just them and me. Why should I be the third wheel in this fucked up relationship?
I know why I'm there. I'm there because if I'm there it keeps them in check. And by in check I mean it keeps Daryl from jumping into serious "us" talk and it keeps Brittany from feeling like they are getting too close to being a couple.
I'm tired of feeling uncomfortable. I'm tired of sitting on a couch while they are all cuddled together and i'm just sitting on the other end leaning away and pretending I'm not the third wheel.
Hell, even Winona and Joe have more consideration for me when it's just me and them. They tone it down a lot.
Just because Brittany and Daryl are in this weird unofficial dating thing doesn't mean the normal rules of common courtesy shouldn't apply, right?
In other words, I think I'm just going to back out of plans tomorrow. If Britt or Daryl wants to hang out, then fine. But not if it's the three of us and no one else.
That may have to be vetoed entirely for a while. I'll either hang out with one or the other. Or the both of them if there are other people around.
And only if there are other people around.
Now that that's all out, moving on.
Had an odd night. Met odd people. Smoked with an almost complete stranger.
Yada yada yada.
Played a lot of X-Men Legends.
Really feeling rather lonely.
I guess it's because I feel like I'm not a real importance to any of my friends.
Joe is really important to Winona, and vice versa. Brittany is really important to Daryl and I'm not so sure about vice versa.
I just want someone to for once care about me just a smidge more than someone else. Even if it's just for a day.
I just want someone to see that I want to talk. NOTICE my efforts to get them alone to talk. And then not thwart those efforts in an attempt to keep the object of their lust in the car for twenty minutes longer even though they're asleep.
But it's okay, I'm not bitter.